All your illness are belong to us
November 23rd, 2008
Sick Since I’ve been back from Thailand (last Thursday), I’ve been holed up in bed with an evil EVIL sicknesss.
I put off going to the hospital as long as possible, but yesterday after almost colapsing after walking down the street - it seemed it could be put off no longer, so I headed to the Ren Ai branch of the Taipei Hospital system.
I was a bit apprehensive as I don’t have any medical insurance and was worried it was going to cost a bomb, however they assured me it wouldn’t and that I’d be able to see a doctor shortly.
True to their word, only a minute or so passed until I got ushered to a doctors lounge type thing where I was asked my symptoms:
- Severe nausea
- Breathing difficulty
- Fast heart rate
- Stuffy head
- Fever
- Sweating all the time
- General crap feeling
He wrote these down and from this point, we shall pick up the conversation:
Dr: Do you use a computer a lot?
Me: Yes
Dr: How often?
Me: Every day.
Dr: How many years ago did you first start to use a computer?
Me: About 20
Dr: The computer has made you sick.
Yes, you read that correctly - infact, I’ll write it again in bold and big:
THE COMPUTER HAS MADE YOU SICK
Yes - I have caught a computer virus and all my sickness are indeed belong to them! The Dr said it, so it must be true….
So what next? Well I’ve been given 4 bags of medicine which I’m very doubtful about whether they will work, but hey, we’ll give them a chance - after all, you only have to read online to know how dangerous these computer virus’ can be….